9 Things that help the brain work, kinda.

I was at a park recently and watched a squirrel hide it's nuts. Squirrels are one of my favorite animals. They are cute, they work hard, they twitch their tail all spastic if they are nervous or showing off. They are fast, skillful and walk around on trees upside down, sideways and up ways and any other way with no regard at all for the laws of gravity and physics. Who can't appreciate something that ignores those types of rules. They squeak at each other and are the source of a plethora of hilarious memes. Not to mention all of the Oak trees they plant each fall by hiding their collection of nuts.

My first love for squirrels came in high school, on a trip to Williamsburg, Virginia, where I fed a squirrel. I shared my waffle cone with the little guy, and he just sat on a barrel eating out of my open hand. Later my wife and I fed squirrels black cherries at the lake by hand. Of course any half-way decent fan of Bob Ross knows there are happy little squirrels living in all kinds of trees and woods near the water.

Squirrels have had a bad rap about remembering where they plant all those acorns for the winter. My thought has always been, if that was the case, why are there not more Oak trees and more starved to death squirrels. I came across this little study about squirrels and found out they have excellent memories about where they hide their acorns and will often leave other squirrel's caches alone.

So what's the point of all of this? I don't know I like squirrels and even spastic little rodents have ways of keeping track of things and systems in place to help them get the job done. Well, it goes that way for folks who have a hard time paying attention. There are things we can do, that probably distract and annoy the crap out of everyone else, that helps us. So here are some activities that help.

1. Brain Gym 

I love Brain Gym. I learned about it in college when I took a training course on Appreciative Inquiry and Youth. It was like hooking booster cable up to my head and turning the key. It's simple movements and pressure points and small activities to stimulate the brain. Little things that most people won't notice or think too much about. Of course some activities are standing and involve the full body, but when stealth is needed, these can carry you another 10-15 minutes in a lecture.  Here is link to a quick chart and the official braingym website.
http://sspw.dpi.wi.gov/files/sspw/pdf/sascevanshandouts.pdf
www.braingym.org

2. Doodle

If you sit next to me in church or a training seminar, you will see me draw almost the entire time. My notes on sermons and teachings are almost as much drawings of what they are talking about as their are words on a page. They aren't good drawing, but quick and simple so as not to get distracted. I use ink because I can't erase and get detailed, so what is there is there. Notes don't have to be in a formal collegiate MLA style.That's ridiculous and to high an expectation.  My notes often run sideways or in a box to stand out. 

In a lecture or training I like the ZENtangles. They don't matter, it is repetitive and simple enough to just do and still gather information or details without slowly sketching into another world. There is also no erasing so again, it is as it is. http://tanglepatterns.com/

3. Knot tying

I like tying notes because I can keep string in my pocket and gives my fingers something to fiddle with and forces me to focus small. Rope is cheap and easy to come by. I can stand and pace or sit and cross my legs. It goes back to the brain gym activities of giving my hands and both sides of my brain something to do. The simplest and best for this are repetitive bars and signets, like the paracord bracelets. It is also a relaxing things to do a conversation starter. Most of us with ADD have a hard time carrying on conversations, and believe or don't, this helps. 

4. Clocks set to the right time

Setting the clock 10 minutes fast does not help us. We know it's 10 minutes fast therefore we think we have more time and that means more distraction. For me, the clock has to be right and all the clocks have to be the same. Otherwise there is confusion and chaos and that means more time to be late. Maybe that isn't logical to you, but its how it goes.

5. Encouragement

This is not a feed my ego kind of thing. But if you berate a person with ADD/ ADHD over punctuality, not paying attention, always forgetting, or being sub-standard, then it only makes things worse. Most people with ADD are very hard on themselves and feel very down on themselves already. We realize we don't meet expectations. We genuinely try, but always come up short. Your continual confirmation of these types of feelings only gives us less hope and more punches of the feelings we are already beating ourselves up with. 

6. Curiously Strong Mints - Altoids

I know it may sound stupid but those Originally Celebrated Curiously Strong Mint candies do a lot to open the brain. It is proven strong smells activate the brain and stimulate memory. I keep a tin of them in the truck, in my desk drawer and in my messenger bag (no that is not a murse or UR-a-peeing man-bag). Not to mention, this is the one thing that everyone else appreciates because who doesn't like a minty fresh mouth. Gum has the same effect and excellent way to keep the brain going.

7. Simplicity

I try to keep very little on my desk now. If I can keep it in a drawer or out of sight I try to keep it there. I try to have the simplest objects and tools I need for the job. I try to throw things away and shred every little piece of paper possible. (ok, I just like cutting things up, I know that) My desk top wall paper is gray tones or solid gray with no unnecessary icons. My work computer has 7icons on the desktop. This is not OCD by any means, this takes effort and purpose.

8. Routine

Same thing with where I put stuff. I have to make myself  put things in the same place every time, so I can find it later My keys hang right beside the door. My wallet and pocket stuff goes on my dresser in my knife case drawer. If not, more distractions and searching for something only uncovers even more distractions, if I can keep up with what I'm searching for. In this regard I am not like a squirrel. I find a book, did I finish this, open to the book mark, read a few paragraphs, realize I was looking for something. Try to remember what I'm looking for. It's a horrible cycle.

9. A Patient Woman

Maybe i could put supportive family, but this is my list, so, get your own Katie. I realize nobody else is blessed to be married to Katie, for she is very patient with me. She repeats things to me, sends reminder emails, gently redirects if I get distracted, without ever putting me down. God has giving me the "helper suitable" I need. I can't thank him enough for her. Now, don't get me wrong. There are times when she would like to take a frying pan to my head or bury me in the back yard with the rest of the nuts, but she loves me and helps me. Family who can help and a wife that doesn't nag is a BIG deal.  

So if you have folks in your family that may need a little redirection or ideas to stay on task, hopefully this will help. Until later, KEEP CALM and WATCH SQUIRRELS.

Crowing rooster and laying eggs

The Rooster crowed.

We bought 8 chicks from a farm store this spring. This was a well talked about and planned out decision. We wanted fresh chickens and fresh eggs and fresh fertilizer and someone to till the garden. Well, chickens are perfect for all of that. They live in a mobile chicken coop called a tractor. We move them each day. Have plenty of water for them. Give them garden and kitchen scraps (not dinning room table scraps). They are funny to watch and we no longer use the derogatory term "Chicken" to describe fear. Them things are mean.

Well, we bought mixed chicks so it was a gamble as to how many hens we would get. All eight lived and 5 are roosters.

That Rooster crowed again.

So now that one of them is screaming all the time, it is time for Smokey, Colonel, Crispy and BBQ to take a trip to the freezer. We'll keep the smallest rooster, he'll eat less and let him take care of the edges of the yard around the garage and house in his own little rooster RV, we might name him "Frankie".

The kids love these things and it is their responsibility to take care of them.

Our chickens laid their first eggs. You would have thought we won the lottery, the way it was passed around said be careful a dozen times.

The strangest things have happened. Every since that rooster started crowing, our hens started laying, and I get hungrier. Now it might be that they are all the same age and it would have happened anyhow. It could be that the hens needed to hear that raspy Frank Sinatra style crooning to get their little female bodies into action. I don't know.

But it does make me think.

Jesus told one of his disciples, Peter, that he would deny he knew Jesus. All of this is in Luke 22:31-34. He told Peter Satan asked for him specifically. So was this a conversation Jesus and Satan had over Peter, like God and Satan had over Job? What was said there, "You already have Judas, we both know that, you cannot have the rest. . . . You can try, but you can't touch them." Then Jesus, don't forget now, he is God, gives this statement that shows the power of free will for us humans. "I have prayed that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.

Jesus knew Peter would deny him. There were no "if's" in Jesus statement. It was a fact. And we go on to read that Peter did in fact deny he knew Jesus. He even sworn and cursed to prove how emphatically he didn't know him.

Did you catch what else Jesus said. This denial did NOT do away with Peter's faith. Peter still had faith. Peter still believed in Jesus being the Messiah. Peter still believed the teaching of Jesus. Peter still loved and followed Jesus. Peter was still as bull-headed in his approach to evangelism. Peter still continued on with the disciples. Peter still spent time praying with the other believers. Yeah, he messed up. BUT his faith didn't fail. In fact this became the "Twist" in Peter's action story.

Peter realized he blew it when he heard the rooster crow that morning. I used to think of the rooster crowing as sign of a bad thing, but that may not be true. It is true that it signaled Peter of his sin, making him aware and responsive. He left the area. He got away from the place of his sin. He repented. Jesus told him he would. Jesus didn't make him, but he knew it would happen. Jesus restored him as a leader of the disciples. Peter was reminded  that Jesus was was the rock the church was built on, not Peter.

When we hear something that brings our sin to mind we should be like Peter, turn back.  It doesn't mean our faith has failed, it means our faith has won. It doesn't mean we hide from our brothers and sisters , but we can encourage others.

As I ate my first home raised chicken egg sandwich this morning, I thought about some of the struggles I have with sin. I don't always need a rooster to point it out to me. When I do, in faith in God's forgiveness, I repent right then. I hope you will too. Good things come when the rooster crows.

That rooster crowed again. Time to make room in the freezer..

The Squirrels are after me, they think I'm nuts!!

Standing in the shower this morning, and most mornings is a confusing time for me. I know showers are an every day occurrence. Simple, right, turn the water on, throw the towel over the curtain rod. Toss the pjs in the hamper and climb in. Wash the hair, wash the face, wash the body, right. Nothing to it.
This morning however, I asked the question I ask myself a lot in there, "did I wash my hair". I know I picked the bottle up, but what was I thinking about? Oh yeah, I have to remember to take my allergy medicine and take Elijah's scout popcorn order form to work with me. I hope I can find something to do at work today. I think I was going to go somewhere, I'll have to look on my calender. The hot water running down my face feels really great. How's the best way to breath in while the water runs over my face so i don't drown. . . . Did I wash my hair?" I feel my hair and try to think back to what I'm doing and then go, "I need to try to remember to take those Vitamin B and Ginko supplements to help with memory and focus. I probably should do that before I kiss Katie bye, because she'll ask me a question or tell me something and I will forget to do that. . . . "Did I wash my hair." There's no deep thinking about the meaning of life or the direction I'm going. Last week I forgot to even rinse my body.

I either washed my hair three times, one time, or not at all. As I'm sitting here I still don't know. When i turned the shower off, "Where the Heck did I put my towel? Oh I hung my dry towel on the door to dry.? I know I washed my body because I put shampoo on the scrubber thing first and then added the body wash, the whole time my mind is racing through ideas, all connected by a word, idea, or something I saw in the bathroom.

I wish it was just in the bathroom I do this. Driving to work is exhausting. Having to see everything, not wreck, read bumper stickers, (because if someone is willing to stick little informational decals on a $40K vehicle it might be important, nope just an Obama ad) and make it to the place I originally set out to get to is sometimes iffy.

I know what your thinking. Mitch, you need to just pay attention and get yourself organized. I would agree, but I have calenders, and schedules, and notes, and helps, and alarms, and lists, and so much organizing I don't know which one to look at. I try to keep as little clutter and stuff on my desk as humanly possible, because who knows what I would end up doing with a block of post-it notes sitting in front of me begging for some action to their little stuck-up life. I probably should just have one ink pen ever, because choosing the best one to use is sometimes just as big a hassle as deciding if I washed my hair. It's like living life with constant squirrel attacks.

A number of years ago while working in the mental health field the psychiatrist, on several occasions, "encouraged" me to let him write a prescription for Adult ADD. I said, "Doc, your crazy i don't need meds. I just need to get organized." Before that in college, one of my professors, the one who worked in a psychiatric hospital for 20 years, mentioned based on what he has seen from me, I might would benefit from some medication for ADD. I'm not an active person. If my body moved as much as my brain, I would end up killing people from shear motion and turmoil. I was a B and C student through college and high school. I love to study and learn and read. I can become so enthralled with these activities that I can block almost anything in the world out. BUT I have to reread and rewrite and reread, because I can read something several times and then back and read something I thought I missed, and did. A movie, however, I can fall asleep to before the opening credits are over.

Prayer, well, that is almost impossible. Making myself close my eyes and think in a logical and sequential order and carry on a "one sided" conversation lasts about a minute and a half. I can't even focus on a two sided conversation for long, and it has effected my ability to connect with people.

I'm not even going into the anxiety, fear, and feelings of failure and self-mental abuse I put myself through.

Anyhow, I have been trying to control my mind with non medicinal means. I use brain-gym activities and body movements to stay focused in group settings and teaching times. I take detailed notes to try and keep up with the pastor or teacher. I drink lots of water. I keep Altoids Peppermint with me. I have started taking Ginkgo Biloba and Vitamin B supplements. I have cut back my coffee because too much makes me drowsy. I have cut back on Coke and soft drinks, because sometimes my pants are too tight.  

Out of frustration and constantly letting my wife and family down, I have finally made the decision that it is time to go see a doctor about this. I don't know how to go about it though. It seems too weird to make an appointment to talk about this at 36, when I probably should have done something about it a long time ago. Especially when there are so many people abusing prescription drugs in our area. It could possibly have made me a better employee, minister, father and husband. It may be something else in my life. I may just be a simpleton. I may just be lazy or empathetic, but I don't think so.

If you would pray for me in this, however you see fit or Jesus leads. This has been a long difficult decision, and the doctor may still say I don't need it and just need to man up.  

Letting Him shape me. Mitch

9 facts that prove Jesus loves Coffee!

Jesus loves Coffee!

I don't know how we have missed this for all these years, but this may change your life forever!

Coffee is a holy drink. 

• God made all seed baring plants and called them good. Coffee is a good seed plant. (Genesis 1:11)

• When God asked people to approach him he reminded them they were on “Holy ground” (Exodus 3:5)

• The promised land is referred to as a place flowing with cream and sweetener. (Exodus 3:8)

• God uses the illustration of being refined by fire to remove impurities, or maybe he prefers dark roasted. (Zechariah 13:9)

• God was always talking about things being a pleasing aroma to him, and we all know there is no greater and more pleasing aroma than fresh ground coffee. (Genesis 8:22)

• Jesus said that he is source of living water, coffee is best made with cold fresh water. (John 4:10)

• He also says that we must go through the water, so obviously God prefers a "french press" method of making coffee, as opposed to a "drip" method. (Acts 8:38)

• In the prophetic book of the Revelation we learn that Jesus likes his coffee hot or iced, because when it’s luke warm he wants to spit it out of his mouth. (Revelations 3:16)

• He called his chosen people the “HE-brews”. (Genesis 14:13, and the Book so named)

But I must put a warning. When Jesus goes to fill your cup, set it down on the table. He has been know to make our cup over-floweth (Psalm 23:5).

Just a bit of fun today. 
Enjoy your morning brew.
-Mitch, lump of clay

IN something

Being IN something is always important to us. When we are little kids we want to be "IN a club", so we make them up. We say things like, "I'm IN a band". "I'm IN scouts." "I'm IN A.A." or maybe "I'm IN a relationship." We may say, "I'm IN trouble." "I'm IN debt." Being IN something is kinda important to us as people. We are social beings in search of our identity and someway in which to relay that identity. Lots of the groups we are in even have uniforms or at least T-shirts, so people can see what we are in.  Usually these things take a lot of work to remain IN. If we don't put effort into our girlfriend or husband we may no longer be IN a relationship. If we don't put hours of practice into an instrument, then we will no longer be IN a band and they will get a new kazoo player. If we don't put effort, accountability, and determination into A.A. then we will continue abusing alcohol.

Here lately I have tried to put a lot of effort IN being a Christian. I have tried to make myself feel sorry for sin. I have tried to make myself get up and pray. I have beat myself up over not being good enough, a "fake", and a lazy good-for-nothing jerk when it came to loving Christ. That all gets pretty exhausting and makes for a grumpy Christian.

I read about a nun from the 1500's named Teresa of Avila. She seemed to have the same problems I have at time. She finally got to the point that she stopped praying because she felt too wretched and evil to do something as intimate as prayer.

In Bible college I was taught this amazing Bible reading fact. If something is repeated over and over and over, it might be important, so pay attention to it. (I know, pretty profound, huh.) This happened recently in the Letter to the Ephesians in the Bible by the Apostle Paul. I started noticing a repetition. The words "IN CHRIST" or "IN HIM" just jumped off the page and kinda smacked me upside the head. Here are just a few things that Paul says happens when we are "IN Christ".

Chapter 1
v1 we are saints
v1 we are faithful because of it
v3 we have every spiritual blessing because of it
v4 we are chosen
v5 we are adopted
v6 we are freely given his glorious grace
v7 we have redemption
v9 we will know the mystery of his will
v11 we are chosen and it is God's plan
v12 we have hope
v13 we are included, saved, and marked with the Holy Spirit
v23 we are filled with his fullness

Chapter 2
v7 he will show the incomparable riches of his grace and kindness
v10 we are God's workmanship, created to do good works
v13 we have been brought near to God
v22 "you too are being built together (all believers) to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

There is much more in the Ephesians and the New Testament about being "IN Christ". In fact I did a quick search and found "in Christ" 145 times in the New Testament. This doesn't even count when Jesus said phrases that include "IN me" or Paul said, "IN him" or other variations. So here is something that hit me. The fact that we are "IN CHRIST", might be more important, and powerful, than being "IN myself". That's what it really boils down to, my attitude and thoughts about myself. It's "IN me". What I am doing, what I am reading, and how I am acting. This whole being a Christian may not really be based on how we feel, how we see ourselves, how good we are at the disciplines, or even how wretched or evil we might really be. I think when we do this, we make ourselves out to be God; we think God doesn't really know what he's talking about, or that God can't really do all those things in us.

So from what I gather the Christian life might be easier and much better if I turn this over and live it "IN CHRIST" instead of "IN Mitch". I allow God to do the work in me that he apparently already has planned and predestined me to do. I let God do the saving and the giving of grace and incomparable riches. I allow his Spirit to bring me near to God and adopt me as his kid.

So I guess we need to get into the mindset of "I'm IN Christ" more than in anything else.

Take a pencil, ink pen, crayon, and as you are reading through your Bible mark the "IN Christ" passages along with the blessing or benefit of being there. This is going to become a practice I'm really going to get IN to, and I haven't seen the t-shirt yet.

Remember to Forget

We live in a culture that is always reminding us to do something. My kids are good at this. "Dad, you said we could get Ice cream next time." "Dad, you said we could go hiking when it warms up." "Dad, you said you would take over the world and give me Europe with all it's pretty castles." (Sometimes timing is the hard part for completing what kids want to do, but world domination is still be on the list.) My dad is very forgetful and says he has "part-timers" a younger version of Alzheimer's (which he pronounces "Alls-timers". He's not making fun of it at all, that just how it sounds with his accent.) My wife, Katie, says I have the same thing Dad has. There is also an inner ear problem for both of us, we aren't paying attention to what's going in there. 

BUT, there are a lot of things I can't seem to forget.

We, as humans have the problem that we forget things we should remember, and remember things we should forget. It’s not a new problem. It started in the Garden of Eden when Eve forgot what God actually said, and the serpent twisted God’s words against her. Then the Israelites were accused of “Forgetting God’s Law, word, commands, covenant” which caused God to have to act against them. Even today we forget songs, what our mom told us to do, details of a story. We as humans are in constant need of reminders. Sometimes we even forget to celebrate. We forget our anniversary or wife birthday.  To truly remember the way God remembers, we have to make ourselves do something very difficult. We have to Remember to Forget. 

We do have to remember to FORGET OUR SINS. Forgetting our sins is sometimes one of the most difficult things to do. Between our own sinfulness and ability to remember things we don’t want to, and Satan, called “the accuser of the brothers”, our past sins can pop up in our minds at any time. But we have to remind ourselves that, “If I’ve repented of this sin, it is no longer counted against me.” John wrote 1 John 1:9 “ that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us.” Did you get that? He dishes out Justice when we confess our sins. For the believer, forgiveness is what God says we deserve. Paul quotes Jeremiah in Hebrews 8:12 “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (Jeremiah 31:34) 

Not only is there forgiveness, but also forgetfulness. God seems to have a selective amnesia. Katie,  says I have this, but with God it isn’t a random forgetfulness or distraction. His forgetting is intentional. Psalm 103:11 “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

So because of his nature, God is always showing His Love to us, by giving his grace, a gift we don’t deserve, and his faithfulness by forgetting when we sin against him and repent.

Forget Everything But God

Philippians 3:12-14 “12 Not that I have already obtained all this,[becoming like Christ and having first hand knowledge of his own resurrection] or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind [this would be his perfection in the Law and life before Christ] and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Paul is saying he is forgetting everything except God. Everything else is out of his Mind except for what Paul referred to as our predestination, which is to be made into the image of God's Son, Jesus.

So take your post it notes, tie a string around your finger, set an alarm on your smart phone to remind you to forget some stuff. When it pops up in our head, let's remind ourselves it's forgotten. When Satan tries to accuse us of stuff we have repented of, let's remember we  have no idea what he's talking about. When we start beating ourselves up over sins let's remember to have selective amnesia, like God tells us he does in scripture. 

***** Word of Caution**** 
This method of forgetting is also beneficial in marriage and  parenthood. Choosing to forget other's "sins", or not holding things against them, is the best thing we can do for ourselves and our significant other half. 
Forgetting to get the kids ice cream may lead to a rebellion, and being greatly out numbered could prove traumatic and not easily forgotten. 

Dying to Love

The fairy tale "Phatasties" by George MacDonald ends (spoiler alert) with the main character dying in his "fantasy" (a type of literature, not a delusional dream) in Fairy Land having never reached the woman that he wanted to love him. He chased her all across Fairy Land, through many strange and magical forest, castles, and terrain. Finally, visiting her through a magical door, in a Scrooge sees the present christmas sort of way, he learns she does love him, but loved a knight more. At the end of the story the hero saves a multitude of worshipers of a false god, but selflessly dies in the process. As he is in his grave here is his realization.

"I knew now, that it is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, and not the being loved by each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness."

During his time overseeing the lady and the knight talking about him through the magical door, they talk about how he had done no great things. How he just aimlessly wandered hoping to find her. This caused him to consider his life. What he does and how he "loved". He realizes it was all selfish.

We can't really blame the hero. Actually, I think we are all like him. Until we learn to sacrifice ourselves, we cannot come near the soul of another. Until we learn to put our beloved first, we cannot be assured of their blessedness.

We see it all the time when two young people start "dating". If one is "dominate" then the other looses their life and identity to be with the other person. For argument's sake lets say the female is the dominant one. He will have to give up hanging out with his friends. He will have to always go to her house. He will always be defending why he talks to that other girl all the time in that class. He will give up his hobbies, because she needs him to help her bathe her dog. He will stop making plans with friends because he doesn't know what is going on. This would be a selfish love on the black widows part, because she is forcing someone to love her and devouring his life.

When Jesus, the apostles, and God talk about love it is always in the actions, thoughts, and emotions of how we interact with others. When Jesus said to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37), he says nothing about God giving us anything. When he says to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39), he doesn't talk about receiving anything in return. When Jesus talks about loving our enemy and praying for them (Matthew 5:43-48), he doesn't say they will come around or be reconciled. It is completely for the one who loves.

Of course, we cannot talk about love without looking at the list of characteristics in 1 Corinthians 13, it is list for the lover. The lover is to be patient, in turn it gives his beloved (which is anyone he comes in contact with, not just a spouse) freedom and safety. When it says the lover is not to keep records of wrong doings, it is so he can truly love as God does and forgives. Love protects, hopes, trusts, perseveres. All of this benefits both people, but it is the lover who is being made perfect by these virtues (Matthew 5:48).

Song of Songs, the holiest song in the Bible, is about two people making preparations to wholly give themselves to the other person. They are not singing about what the other will do for them, but what they will do for the other. They are not describing what they will receive, but what they will give. In this beautiful ballad, we see the purity of unrestrained love and how the other is blessed by it. As MacDonald put it, these two souls were becoming nearest each other because they are loving each other.

Now personally,I cannot find in myself to think of loving my enemies, the Taliban, Democrats (just being funny), that crazy neighbor, or sometimes even family like is described in 1 Corinthians or Song of Songs. When I pray for them it is more like one of David's "God will you smite them down, O mighty smiter" type prayers. But by loving and praying for them, we might come closest to their soul, allowing us the opportunity to be a blessing and be made perfect. Hopefully though, you will not have to learn it by strangling a demon wolf god to death while dying in a fairy land