Dying to Love

The fairy tale "Phatasties" by George MacDonald ends (spoiler alert) with the main character dying in his "fantasy" (a type of literature, not a delusional dream) in Fairy Land having never reached the woman that he wanted to love him. He chased her all across Fairy Land, through many strange and magical forest, castles, and terrain. Finally, visiting her through a magical door, in a Scrooge sees the present christmas sort of way, he learns she does love him, but loved a knight more. At the end of the story the hero saves a multitude of worshipers of a false god, but selflessly dies in the process. As he is in his grave here is his realization.

"I knew now, that it is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, and not the being loved by each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness."

During his time overseeing the lady and the knight talking about him through the magical door, they talk about how he had done no great things. How he just aimlessly wandered hoping to find her. This caused him to consider his life. What he does and how he "loved". He realizes it was all selfish.

We can't really blame the hero. Actually, I think we are all like him. Until we learn to sacrifice ourselves, we cannot come near the soul of another. Until we learn to put our beloved first, we cannot be assured of their blessedness.

We see it all the time when two young people start "dating". If one is "dominate" then the other looses their life and identity to be with the other person. For argument's sake lets say the female is the dominant one. He will have to give up hanging out with his friends. He will have to always go to her house. He will always be defending why he talks to that other girl all the time in that class. He will give up his hobbies, because she needs him to help her bathe her dog. He will stop making plans with friends because he doesn't know what is going on. This would be a selfish love on the black widows part, because she is forcing someone to love her and devouring his life.

When Jesus, the apostles, and God talk about love it is always in the actions, thoughts, and emotions of how we interact with others. When Jesus said to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Matthew 22:37), he says nothing about God giving us anything. When he says to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39), he doesn't talk about receiving anything in return. When Jesus talks about loving our enemy and praying for them (Matthew 5:43-48), he doesn't say they will come around or be reconciled. It is completely for the one who loves.

Of course, we cannot talk about love without looking at the list of characteristics in 1 Corinthians 13, it is list for the lover. The lover is to be patient, in turn it gives his beloved (which is anyone he comes in contact with, not just a spouse) freedom and safety. When it says the lover is not to keep records of wrong doings, it is so he can truly love as God does and forgives. Love protects, hopes, trusts, perseveres. All of this benefits both people, but it is the lover who is being made perfect by these virtues (Matthew 5:48).

Song of Songs, the holiest song in the Bible, is about two people making preparations to wholly give themselves to the other person. They are not singing about what the other will do for them, but what they will do for the other. They are not describing what they will receive, but what they will give. In this beautiful ballad, we see the purity of unrestrained love and how the other is blessed by it. As MacDonald put it, these two souls were becoming nearest each other because they are loving each other.

Now personally,I cannot find in myself to think of loving my enemies, the Taliban, Democrats (just being funny), that crazy neighbor, or sometimes even family like is described in 1 Corinthians or Song of Songs. When I pray for them it is more like one of David's "God will you smite them down, O mighty smiter" type prayers. But by loving and praying for them, we might come closest to their soul, allowing us the opportunity to be a blessing and be made perfect. Hopefully though, you will not have to learn it by strangling a demon wolf god to death while dying in a fairy land

SOMETIMES IT'S HARD

Let me introduce you to two of the coolest kids in the world. This is Lucas, in yellow, and Caleb, in red for those of you who need it. I cannot remember how this particular story started out. Caleb just crawled up in my lap, saw the pictures and said, "We were fighting over jelly beans and had to hold hands. I cried." At least he remembers. I do remember they were fighting. They had been fighting a lot lately and we had enough of it. We had tried separating them. We tried making them work in different places. We tried "time out". We probably swatted their fanny a couple times (which is a great way to teach a kid not to hit;-)  note my sarcasm.)

I thought about it for a while. What could I do that could possible scar them for life? What would release the sweet sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth? What could I do that is so heinous and deplorable, I could get my children taken away from me? What would be etched in their little developing brains for all of eternity? Then it hit me. I made them sit together.  . . . nothing happened. I made them give each other a hug. . . no tears. I made them hold hands. . . this is a picture of those beautiful result. They cried and wailed and tears flowed down their faces. It was a beautiful sight. It was then that I realized, as their little cheeks were streaked with sorrow, I was a good parent.

Lucas and Caleb in trouble for fighting.

My wife, Katie, and I have 5 kids. Lucas and Caleb are the youngest two. One of the most important things we desire as parents is the unity of our family. Having just moved back close to family I feel this more and more. Our families are the most important group of people God has designed and given us. It is were we learn love, or hate. It is were we feel absolute safety or fear. Brothers and sisters are more important than anyone. After my wife and I are gone on to Paradise they will be all they have left. Their unity and love will affect generations of Esteps. 

I feel a similar urgency for my kids as Jesus had for the apostles and the church. I pray this for myself and then for our kids. Here is a part of Jesus' prayer for the church. You can read his whole prayer in John chapter 17. 

“My prayer is not for them alone [Apostles]. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message [everyone after the Apostles], 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23)

We live in a culture and society where the church is at odds with each other. Denominations and churches not liking, making fun of, and even condemning other churches over non-salvation issues to Hell. Mahatma Ghandi said once that Christians were the reason he was not a Christ follower. (This in not a good excuse, but I can understand where he is coming from.)

I know of a church that has 20 people in it and they think they are the only ones going to heaven. I know of churches that think using instruments during worship is a horrible atrocity. I know of churches that tell their congregations what kind of underwear to use and clothing to sleep in, everyone else is going to hell. I've heard of churches that have divided over whether or not to place a hook at the back of the church for the pastor to hang his hat and coat on. (On a personal note, I think this is a story they tell at Bible colleges just to illustrate how silly a lot of our disagreements are in the church.) 

I have to admit, I am like this as well. I have a  prejudice against prejudice people. I don't want to be around them. I don't like being told I'm not saved because I don't speak in "tongues". I don't like arguing with people. I don't think things like underwear, types of pants, which version of the Bible, or using notes to preach with are really worth the aggravation of being around some people. 

The division of the church is the saddest blight affecting Christians throughout history. It has all but destroyed our witness to the world. We must pray, as Jesus did, for the unity of believers. A wise pastor has said we are to have UNITY not UNIFORMITY, LOVE not LEGALISM, GRACE not GUILT, and RELATIONSHIP (with God) not RELIGION.  

If we were to rewrite Jesus’ prayer so we could pray it, it might go like this. “I pray that all of us who believe in Jesus through the Apostles Teaching and the Bible may be one, just as you are in Jesus and Jesus is in you. May we be in you so that the world may believe that you have sent him. You have given us the glory that you gave him so we can be one with each other: your son in us, and we in him. May we be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent Jesus and have loved us even as you loved him.”

Let's think of the believers we work with and know. Are there any we need to forgive? Are there any we need to love? Are there any who need grace? Pray for THEIR unity with the Father and the body as we pray for OUR unity with the Father and body. We, followers of Christ, need to repent of the hatred we have for each other. We need to forgive each other, so Christ can forgive us. We need to confess our unity to the Father and the Family. The unity process may look and feel like the one my sons went through. I think the unity of God's kids would be just as beautiful to him as it is to me.

UNshaved faces

While shaving this morning I got to thinking about my reflection. About how people see me differently than I see myself. How so many people look into the mirror and see something horrible, ugly, fat, or mesmerizingly beautiful. If you have seen me more than three times you have probably seen my face in at three different configurations of hairiness. It is either unshaven, gotee, soul patch, petite gotee, or any combination there of.

You see, I hate shaving. I think it is useless and a waste of money. I am proud to say I've had the same disposable (used at minimum of once a week) since the beginning of August. Shaving ranks up there with covering your property with a vegetation you can't eat, but spend a lot of time and money to keep it from growing (grass). Sorry, that is for a different topic. I like to shave my face differently every time as a form of protest. God gave us hair. We all have it. So why do we spend so much time trying to cut it off and make it look like we have none? Just like hair on top of our heads. Why do we spend so much money cutting, coloring, curling, straightening (even though your hair is already straight, honey) and fixing it up in all kinds of weird ways. My favorite, which I have done, is to fix hair so that it looks like you just got out of bed. hahahaha! Yes, it is weird the effort we put into.

The church is probably the weirdest of all when it comes to hair. I have heard of churches that would not hire very good ministers because they have a beard. I have heard of church who wouldn't let ministers speak because they had hair that was too long. (I don't know where that is found in the Bible.) I've regularly heard, "You really need to shave all of your face."

But is it really all that important? I've read the passages in the Bible that say priests are not to shave the sides of their head or trim the edges of their beard (Leviticus 21:5). In Numbers chapter eight God wants the Levites (the priestly family) to be sprinkled with water, shave their entire body,  and wash their cloths so as to be ceremonially clean. I would definitely be upset about that. To take the Nazarite vow, a vow of consecration and fasting before God the individual, even though they began with a shaved head, was not allowed to shave any part of their body.

In Acts chapter 21 we read about the Apostle Paul being confronted by some legalistic gentlemen of the church and then given a "legalistic" way to pacify these ignorant gentlemen. He was to go perform the Nazarite rites at the temple and shave his head. This did nothing for him, because a few guys saw him and then he ended up getting beat by a mob. This is the second time in history when a hair cut got a guy almost killed, the first was Samson.

Then we get to Paul's writings to the corinthian christians. This is where we get a lot of today's legalistic rules about dress, hair, and how to act in worship. Paul goes talks about a woman's place and a man's place. He talks about women having men's hair cuts and men having women's haircuts. He talks about Christ being our head and God being his head. It's all really exciting and you have to read it slow. You also need to know the Corinthians. It was kinda like an ancient Las Vegas. If Paul were to write to the church in Vegas, he may have talked about grease backed hair and not dressing like a show girl. He might say to the guys not to wear girl jeans. An image of Justin Bieber just came into my head. He might say to the girls, take it easy on the make-up.

You see Paul was writing about a CULTURAL PROBLEM. The pagan temples set the fashion standards of the day. Also women's rights and femanatzi-ism was going strong and to prove we were all equal they were all dressing alike or had the same hairdo. Guys were wearing their hair long and women were cutting it to prove a point, fit in with a particular group, or because they thought it was the cool thing to do at the time.

So if there was a band that dishonored God and wore their hair a certain way, or a racist group that shaved their heads, or group of women that colored their hair a certain color to prove a point, then this passage would apply directly to you. His point was not to do this kinda stuff, it doesn't help your christian witness.  Right before all this he says, "Everything is permissible" - (freedom in Christ) but not everything is beneficial . . . not everything is constructive."(1 Corinthians 10:23). Basically how we dress, cut our hair, shave our face, wear tattoos, piercing, or what we eat is allowed by God. Remember God told the prophet Samuel not to look on the outside for the best, God looks on the inside. BUT, Paul says it may not be beneficial, for myself or others who are weaker christians and non believers.

The important thing is found in 2 Corinthians 3:18 "We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." So if shaving my face helps me better reflect God's glory to some people then I will do it. I won't like it, and it may be different every time. I will live my life so that it is reflecting of what is on the inside. To be all things to all people so as to save some. The next time I look in the mirror, I will see Jesus, hairy, good looking ;-), and in a constant state of transformation.

image from http://thebeardclub.blogspot.com

How is your underwear

We all have them. They are comfy and secure. We know when we wear them we are not going to have to worry about crawling, wedgies, slipping, and whatever else could happen down there. And then we have that pair we keep in the back of the drawer in case we haven't done our laundry lately. We can all relate to the feeling and excitement of underwear that fits good, comfy, and proper. When your underwear fits good, your more likely to be comfortable and pleasant. When it doesn’t, the day can be really long and we can get really agitated with people.

Our conscience is the same way. When we have a clear conscience there is that deep down comfort. When we don’t have a clear conscience, then we are getting spiritually chaffed. That’s why we need to put on first things first, like our underwear first thing in the morning before any other cloths. Our life on the outside, what everyone can see, must begin inwardly, with what others can’t see. In other words, a clear conscience isn’t just knowing the truth, it’s being true.

A clear conscience gives us freedom and confidence. Confidence happens when people see an “outside of you” that matches the “inside of you”. It all begin with what’s under. Let’s Check the Word: 1Jn 3:19-22 "Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side, and our consciences will be clear, even when we stand before the Lord. But if we have bad consciences and feel that we have done wrong, the Lord will surely feel it even more, for he knows everything we do. But, dearly loved friends, if our consciences are clear, we can come to the Lord with perfect assurance and trust, and get whatever we ask for because we are obeying him and doing the things that please him. And this is what God says we must do: Believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another. Those who do what God says--they are living with God and he with them. We know this is true because the Holy Spirit he has given us tells us so."

SO, the Apostle John says that what is on the inside has to come first, he is talking about having the Holy Spirit in us to guide, act, move, and help us. When He is in there first, we are able to stand before God, and others, with a clear unwedgied conscience. If you do not have one then John writes that we are to Confess and Believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ (1 John 3:21, Romans 10:9,10).  Repent of your sins (repent means turn away from the junk and bad fitting underwear of life) (1 John 1:8-10). And finally be  Immersed in the name, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Romans 6:3-14).

Now I don't care if you wear whitey-tighties, boxers, thongs, or go commando, and I REALLY DO NOT want to know about it. I do care if your conscience is clear. I care more if you have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you and the promises that come with that. So start your day with what matters on the inside and enjoy the crawling-wedgies-slipping free life.

 Mitch, a lump of clay

To good to be ... God?

You know the saying. We're taught it at a young age. It's the battle cry of every good pessimist and now most of America. "That's too good to be true!" bit we have good reason, right? We have info-mercials running 24-7 promising to be the greatest thing in our life, help our marriages, make our kids smile and work, and generally fulfill our pursuit for happiness.

Politicians, G.E., LG electronics, and ketchup all promise a "to good to be true" effect on our life. Even my soap promises a "High lather shower experience that will leave you feeling clean, refreshed and invigorated with a woodsy scent. Rinse well."Why would I want to rinse something that powerful off?

I don't think I'm a pessimist. I would consider myself a cautious optimist. I always heard the saying, "if it's too good to be true, then it probably is." Up until recently I had never give that phrase much thought. I recently had something offered to me which caused me a lot of concern. And I said to myself, 'it's too good to be true'. While I was praying though God reminded me that he is TRUTH (John 1:14, 14:6)) in fact standing before Pilate Jesus said the whole reason he came was to testify to the truth.

While reading in the book of Matthew Jesus is talking about only God being good (Matthew 19:17). We also see that every good and perfect gift comes from God (James 1:17). Peter said that those who are followers of Jesus have tasted and know that God is good (1 Peter 2:3).

So with all of that being said I had to ask myself, "Is this offer too good to be God?" Oh wait what about the "good" part of that phrase? So then I asked "Is this too God to be God?" It's kind of a redundant question, I know. It is a good question. So I have to ask myself a bigger question. "Do I really believe God would set everything up my benefit, the other's benefit all for his glory and furtherance of His kingdom?" So is God active in our everyday lives?

When things seem to be "falling into place" or "just happens to. . ." or "this is too good to be true". Maybe it is God intervening in our life, and  "To God to be God" is just how He would do it.

Remembering march for life

This is something i wrote a few years After returning from the March for Life.

What a trip. I was definitly in sensory overload, trying to take everything in. I'm still a little dizzy, and this all happened two days ago. Washington DC during a pro-life march. That was the most interesting thing I have ever done.
There were all kinds of people there walking around, holding signs.
Some talking about love.
Some yelling at the crowd with a ram's horn in their hand.
Some carring the virgin mary on their shoulders.
Two girls held a sign that said "Vegans should be pro-ALL-Life" That makes sense.
I carried a sign that said "Pregnant is Beautiful" (I really do believe that, we have 5 kids).
Some yelling the church was to blame for abortion. ( I don't know what he was talking about.)
Some were chanting,
Some yelling,
Some singing,
Some were just quiet w/ heads down.

Most everyone held the same belief. If abortion is going to end, If Life is to become important again, from conception to natural death, it is going to have to come from the church(followers) of Jesus Christ.